Lesson 10 "Fathers and finance" November 21-25 (Thanksgiving Week)

This week was Thanksgiving so class time was cut short, but we discussed how to juggle family and work.

Dual earning families are very common but how do you raise children effectively whilst both parents are out of the home? It could be difficult but it is do-able. But we also discussed stay at home moms, some people think that staying home is a way to waste the education that was gained while at school. But is it really a waste? Think of all those skills the parent can now pass down to their children through patient teaching and guiding through example rather than having the child in day care and learning things that perhaps the parents don't agree with.

Week 9 November 18-22 2013

This week we learned a lot about communication. We learned about the importance of communication, the conflicts that can arise in marriage and  Council method .

Communication within in the family is astronomically important. If a husband and wife aren't communicating then it would be as if two strangers lived together. They wouldn't be emotionally fulfilled and their bank account would empty super fast as well. Communication is what brings people together and what a relationship is based on.

Conflicts can arise in marriage. But conflict isn't always a bad thing. Conflict can help people see where there are problems in the relationship. Sometimes conflict can be used as a way of manipulating others and getting what you want. But other times people can make requests just because they love the other person very much and not because they want something in return.

The Council method is what the Quorum of the 12 and the First Presidency use as well as the other leaders of the Church use. The difference of using the Council method is that instead of the people making the decision to come to a consensus not a compromise. A compromise is where both parties have to give up something in order for them to make a decision. But a consensus is where everyone discusses until they reach a decision that they all feel comfortable with and that the Lord would have them do.

The steps of the Council method are:
1. Express love and admiration.
2. Prayer (seeking to have the Holy Spirit of God with the discussion so that the people can know what the Lord would have them do)
3. Discuss to consensus.
4. Closing prayer.
5. Refreshments.

Week 8 November 11-15

This week in family relations we discussed what the family does when it is under stress. Some of these things that we discussed were the ABCX model and the way that the family can cope.

There are two ways to classify a hardship in your life. One is a stressor which is an event that doesn't necessitate the need for a role change or other change within the family. A crisis is an event that does necessitate a need for a change within a family. When your family goes into a crisis we can use the ABCX model developed by Hill to understand it better and grow from it.

A- Actual event
B- Both resources and responses to them.
C- Cognition
X- Total Experience

First as the model shows you have your event then you look at all your resources. But if you don't use a resource or don't feel comfortable using the resource then it is as if you didn't have that resource at all. Next in the cognition which means what you are thinking about regarding the event and your attitude towards it. X is the total experience all of those things but together.

 So we have established your event and how you think about it but what do we do about it? How do we cope?
To cope means to make fine, precise and careful adjustments in your life that will make everyone and everything better than it was before the crisis.

November 4 - 8th 2013

This week we discussed martial intimacy and why it is important within a marriage and what constitutes its satisfaction.

Marital intimacy is very important to have only within a marriage. We discussed why there are teenagers having premarital sex which is leading to unwed births and a host of other complications within the teens life.We discussed also that teenagers don't understand how to have a healthy relationship and that is why they have sexual intimacy so early in their relationships. If a teenager understood the need of a married parents for a child's life do you think that would affect their decision to be sexually active? If so, do you think it would be affected for good or bad?

We also learned that marital sexual intimacy is only satisfying to the husband and wife if they know each other and are intimate in other ways. The couple must time talking with each other and getting to know each other on a deeper intellectual level, their hopes and dreams. Another way for it it to be satisfying is to be of service to each other. That means that not only lighten each other's work loads but also to do things that are meaningful to another person.

October 28- November 1

This week in my family relations course we learned about the different adjustments that are made in the very beginning stages of marriage, from the first month to the first year.

There are some many things to adjust to when first starting out. For me, I had to adjust to sharing a bed, I loved stretching out and having all blankets to myself but now I must share. I loved having someone to support me and talk with me anytime I needed and to have someone for me to support and help as well.

Other adjustments that we discussed was being on the same page with schedules or personal habits. What were some of the hard adjustments for you?

Another thing that we discussed was early marriage with childcare and how that affects the relationship. Nationally, marital satisfaction goes down after the birth of the first child and with each child after that then levels out and goes up when the children move out of the home. That is what statistics show.
But the family doesn't have to be that way, we can find ways of involving our spouse in the pregnancy and in the newborns life. This child belongs to both parents and both parents should be involved in its life and in taking care of it.